Panic Attacks
by darkskyslove
Summary: Stiles has a small revelation that causes his to freak out whenever he is around Derek. boy x boy, yaio, Sterek.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, so this is different from what i usually write. It's going to be small, maybe 2 or 3 chapters, but this is probably the only not M rated chapter... this is obviously a Sterek, Stiles x Derek, whatever you wanna call it. smutty fluffy goodness later...**

**also keep in mind, not sure where this falls in the show because... yea ive never seen it, and i know horrible but ive read so much i wanted to give it a shot... and so far this is what i got... so i hope whoever reads it enjoys... i totally made Scott the matchmaker here as well. cuz he isnt always a bad guy against Derek and Stiles happiness.**

Stiles had been thinking, and when Stiles thinks it usually doesn't make a whole lot of sense but as he sat in his room, on his bed thinking he has come to a few pretty important conclusions.

He really needs to paint his room, it's getting dingy and too many claw marks from a panicking Scott.

He needs to try a wardrobe change, possibly moving onto the emo-dark side (haha no that will never happen just a random Stiles thought).

He's not really as into Lydia as he thought.

Yea that last one came as quiet the shocker, but over the last month or so he has found himself not really thinking about her, looking for her, or even paying much attention to her when she is there and talking. He can't figure out what it is but ever since this whole shit with Derek started, he has just slowly started not really…. Caring? At all really. And at this last conclusion Stiles calls Scott.

"Hlo?" Comes a sleepy Scott over the line. Stiles looks at the time and realizes it's one in the morning.

"Sorry buddy, I didn't realize how late it was. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Stiles says sighing.

"No, no I'm up. What's wrong?" Scott asks, Stiles can hear him shifting in his bed trying to be awake.

"Do… do you think you could come over? My dad's gone and I need to talk to you…" Stiles asks and hears Scott chuckle.

"Of course, I'll be right there."

"Thanks buddy!" Stiles says and hangs up. Ten minutes later is Scott climbing through his window and Stiles rolls his eyes. "You know, this is why you have a spare key… so you don't have to climb through windows."

"Eh" Scott says shrugging, throwing himself on Stiles bed and cuddling around his legs, Scotts head on Stiles lap as Stiles begins to pet his head. They used to do this before Scott was a wolf so it's not a "dog" thing, it's a "them" thing. "So what is going on? Your heart beat is kinda erratic." Scott mumbles between what sounds like a purrs.

"Um, yea. That. Well I have kinda been thinking.." Stiles says, looking at the ceiling. "And I don't think... actually I know, I'm not as into Lydia as I had thought I was…" Stiles says and feels Scott still on him.

"What made you think that?" Scott asks warily, popping his head up to look at Stiles, And so Stiles tells him everything he had been thinking and when he is finished Scott just nods his head in thought. "So is there someone else?" Scott asks but knows the answer, and is surprised when Stiles lies, without actually lying.

"No, I think I just don't like her anymore." Stiles says and Scott doesn't hear a blip in his heart beat, which shocks him. Maybe Stiles just doesn't know himself?

"Huh… I see. What are you going to do then?" Scott says, curling into Stiles more.

"Nothing to do. She won't notice anything anyway and no one else cares." Stiles sighs, carting his fingers through Scotts hair. "Just go through life per usual. Hey! Are you falling asleep on me!" Stiles half yells.

"Not m' fult. Feel good." Scott mumbles and Stiles chuckles getting comfortable to fall asleep too.

~X~X~X~X~

Stiles goes through the days per usual. A more awake Scott let him know that he is glad he isn't pining after Lydia anymore, she isn't worth it and Scott wants Stiles happy. A week later it has been unbearably hot and everyone in the pack plan a trip to a beach. Stiles, reluctantly, goes and doesn't expect Derek to be there. Not that he doesn't want him there, he doesn't actually care… right? Anyway, he is just surprised that the pack dragged him out of his home.

"Hey buddy, you ok?" Scott says clapping his hand on Stiles shoulder, ultimately scaring the shit out of Stiles.

"Huh? Yea, I'm fine why?" Stiles asks, rubbing his injured shoulder.

"You have been standing here staring off into space for a while. Come on, let's get the stuff from your jeep." Scott says and Stiles blushes realizing it wasn't space, but it was Derek. He shakes it off and helps Scott out.

Now, Stiles may be an ADD riddled kid, has enough issues of his own to span out to the whole school he goes to with his own life and the supernatural crap he is involved with, but he deals. He knows how to hide, or fix, or take care of whatever problem he is having before most people know he is having it. However, usually no one else can hear his heartbeat while he is having a problem. Which is the challenging part of hanging out with a pack full of super hearing werewolves. Scott and Stiles had just placed the blanket in the sand, and he plopped down relaxing as he watched Scott grab the food to place on the blanket so it didn't fly away when he noticed everyone getting out of their normal cloths to the suits they had underneath. He noticed Lydia take her shirt off to reveal the bikini underneath and it didn't even faze him, whereas before it would have probably gave him an embarrassing hard on. He scanned the area and then he saw Derek. He had an actual small smile on his face, making Stiles drop his jaw a little at how beautiful he looked and his heart pick up just a bit, but when Derek reached down and took his own shirt off Stiles started to have what could be called a revelation.

'He stopped caring about Lydia when Derek showed up. He thought about Derek all the time. It's been about Derek, not just the werewolf crap, but the actual him since Stiles first laid eyes on the guy he thought was a murderer.' Stiles eyes came back into focus to see Scott with a worried expression on his face, talking to Stiles but he couldn't hear a word he said. Stiles could feel his heart beat going fast, the beginning of a panic attack, but as soon as he looked up at Derek, who was staring at him with a bit of concern on his usually scowling face, it turned into a full blown panic attack. Stiles stood up and waved everyone away and took off towards the bathrooms. He knew Scott would follow but he also knew no one else would.

It took twenty minutes to calm down, Stiles heart beat finally sputtering to a normal rate as he tried to breathe normally. Stiles told Scott to go tell everyone he was fine and just had a panic attack at the thought of sharks and his over reactive mind.

"Is that the truth?" Scott asks and Stiles laughed.

"We will talk about it when you get back up here." He said instead and Scott nodded before he left. Stiles took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down more. He couldn't be… this was just his luck. He went from liking someone slightly out of his reach, to possibly being full blown in love with someone completely and utterly out of his reach. Stiles felt his heart beat quicken again as tears came to his eyes. Taking a few more breaths to calm down he compromised with himself. 'I'll deal with today, and then I'll just avoid him, yea, that's easy I can do that. it's not like he comes to find me, if he needs something he has Scott and Erica and Isaac and a bunch of other people. If he needs a humanish thing he has Lydia and Allison, and he won't even notice I'm not there. Good… this is a good plan.' Stiles take another deep breath as he hears the bathroom door open.

"Don't worry buddy I'm fine, just had an epiphany…." Stiles stutters to a finish as his heart picks up speed at the sight of Derek in front of him.

"Are you ok?" Derek asks, his usually scowly face still intact but the softness to his voice evident.

"Wh-who me? Psh, yea, I mean now I am" he says but his heart wont calm down. He tries to breath but it isn't working. "Y-you need to get out…" Stiles mumbles breathless, placing a hand on his heart as he turns around leaning against the sink, trying to quell the panic attack from rising again. Instead of listening Derek comes closer and places a hand on Stiles back, rubbing softly trying to calm him down but instead it just gets worse. Derek steps back slowly.

"I'll um…. Just go get Scott." Derek says and takes off out of the bathroom. Stiles feels bad because he heard the desperation in Derek's voice, he was just trying to help and Stiles panics. He knows Derek was just being a good alpha and trying to comfort and calm him but it only made it worse.

"Hey buddy, sorry I got distracted." Scott says with a tiny chuckle. "Why are you having so many panic attacks right now? It's been a few months since your last one…" Scott finishes with a mumble while rubbing Stiles back.

"I'll tell you when we get home" Stiles finally says after he has calmed down. He worked himself so he can be calm when he leaves. Just one day, this will be simple. As they walk down to the beach again Stiles can feel Derek looking at him, and so he doesn't catch on to much to Stiles predicament, Stiles looks up and looks him in the eyes, giving a slight smile and a nod before looking away. 'That should be enough to make him not care.'

The day goes on just fine after that, they all have fun, and by the end they are sitting in front of the fire, Scott and Allison are cuddling and Stiles sends a wink his way as Scott beams the happiest smile his way. Stiles looks around and catches Derek looking at him, he gives him a nervous smile, trying to calm his heart and looks back at Erica who is fighting with Boyd over something. He pretends to be interested before his phone goes off. Stiles stands up and answers the phone while walking away.

"Hello?" he says.

"Hey kiddo, where are you?" his dad asks.

"At the beach with Scott and some friends. Why?" Stiles replies.

"Well I have to stay tonight, there has been an assault and I need to do all the paper work and all that good stuff. I'll be home tomorrow some time." his dad answers and Stiles sighs.

"Of course. I'll see you then. I love you."

"Love you too kid, have fun." They hang up and Stiles turns around, ready to just go home when he sees Derek a few feet from him. Stiles thinks of just avoiding him but he knows that would be suspicious, so he walks closer and falls in step as Derek and him walk to the camp site.

"I'm going to have to go home soon." Stiles comments, watching his feet sink in the sand as he walks.

"It is getting dark out." Is all Derek says. They walk a few more feet before Derek grabs Stiles shoulder. Stiles freezes and tries to breath. "Are you going to be alright Stiles?" he asks and Stiles has never noticed how amazing his voice really is, especially when he says his name.

"Yea, I will." Stiles mumbles.

"What has you freaking out?" Derek asks, letting go of Stiles arm and Stiles takes a deep breath.

"I… I am just over thinking things, as usual." Stiles gives a slight chuckle. "I will be fine." He mutters as they reach the camp site. "Well guys I gotta go… Scott are you?..." Stiles trails off.

"I'll take him home." Allison replies and Scott gets a dreamy look in his eyes.

"Ok, well see you guys." Stiles says and immediately takes off for his car.

"Stiles!" Derek yells and Stiles tries not to panic but feels his heart go faster. He slowly turns around to see Derek running up to him. He looks frantically for his keys, getting ready to get in the Jeep when Derek jingles something by his ear. "You forgot these." Derek says and Stiles blushes, hopefully unnoticed in the dark, and stutters out a thank you before getting in the Jeep and leaving.

~X~X~X~X~

From that day on it only got worse for Stiles. Avoiding Derek seemed impossible, but the panic attacks subsided to just rapid heartbeats, beet red face and whenever he had to speak to Derek he would end up stuttering or just mumbling out something before blushing and taking off. Today was one of those days a few months later.

Stiles was in the store, getting stuff for his dads dinner when he feels… something. Stiles perks his head up over the oranges and looks around before he feels a tap on his shoulder. He whips around, calming his flailing arms when he sees it is just Derek. 'Wait Derek?' his heart beat picks up and he starts to breathe faster as they just stare at each other.

"Uh…" clears throat. "Wh-hats up?" Stiles asks and gives himself points for speaking first.

"shopping" Derek replies, holding up his basket of groceries. Stiles looks at it then back up at Derek, nodding his head and mhms before turning around and grabbing the oranges he needs. He walks off looking for pineapples when he notices his heart beat hasn't slowed down, due to the fact that Derek is, not so much following, more like tagging along for the ride. Stiles pauses, turns and looks up at him. Derek looks down and quirks and eyebrow at Stiles and he ends up feeling stupid. 'He is probably just going the same direction I am… that's all' Stiles thinks and goes over to do the rest of his shopping.

But as Stiles walks around the store picking up stuff he needs Derek follows him, in silence but Stiles heart beat never calms. Finally he just looks at him and sighs.

"What do you w-want from me?" Stiles says exasperatedly.

"Nothing." Derek says and turns around, walking away like nothing happened. Stiles sighs, shaking his head as his heart calms down. Later that night, Stiles is in his room doing research when Scott appears in his room. Stiles just rolls his eyes, assuming Scott is here to complain about Allison again but he just gives him this look that doesn't bode well for Stiles.

"Alright, spill." Scott says, throwing himself on Stiles bed.

"Bout what?" Stiles asks, turning back around in his chair to close his computer down.

"Why you have been acting all strange like, and so many panic attacks, and the freaking out all the time. What is going on?" Scott asks, concerned. So Stiles finally tells him, tells him about his revelation about how everything started when Derek entered his life and about what he had that might have caused the panic attack, and why he gets all stutter-y and stupid. Scott listens and when Stiles tells him about the shopping trip he gets a huge grin on his face.

"Why are you smiling so creepily?" Stiles asks.

"Well this would explain why Derek called me and said I needed to talk to you. So what does this mean?" Scott asks. Stiles blushes and looks to the ground.

"Scott…. I think, dude.. I'm in love with your alpha."


	2. Chapter 2

"_Scott…. I think, dude.. I'm in love with your alpha."_

"Stop looking at me like that!" Stiles yells at Scott.

"What! Im not looking at you like anything! You should totally tell him though dude." Scott replies, creepily excited smile still stuck to his face.

"Quit with the creepy Peter Hale smile, and also should we get your head checked? Because I did not just hear you tell me to tell him! no, no, no, and furthermore. NO!" Stiles finishes, exasperated, standing up and throwing himself on his bed.

"Why not man? Im sure he already knows anyway, besides your going to give yourself a heart attack if you keep freaking out when he is near you." Scott reasons. Stiles sits back up and looks at him, a blank expression on his face.

"Look, the fact that he might already know? Does not help my situation. Also, just no, everything has been fine thus far, and I just, don't want to. Ok? Alright? Now leave! I need sleeeeep!" Stiles wines and Scott huffs, getting off the bed.

"Whatever man, but you should really tell him." he says as he slips out the window. Stiles stares at the window for a while after he has left before turning of the lamp to sleep.

~D~S~D~S~

Because Stiles doesn't have anything to do in the summer that actively requires him to leave his house, he doesn't. He feels this is one of those things maybe he should just stay out of, much to Scott's confusion, and so he stays in his room playing video games and doing research. Scott comes to visit every day, still insisting he tell Derek and Stiles just tells him to be quiet and watch the movie, or whatever it is they are doing. It's at this point where Scott decides to take this into his own hands.

~D~S~D~S~

Scott gets to Derek's loft when he isn't home, and so he waits. When Derek finally arrives, Scott decides to play a serious 'I know what's going on and you're going to do as I say' game plan. So, he crosses his arms and gives Derek a look, not quite an Alpha look, but close enough all the same that has Derek taking the situation seriously.

"What?" is how Derek replies, throwing his keys and phone on the table before looking back to Scott.

"You know what Derek, and so do I." Scott says, feeling proud in himself for sounding so serious.

"Are you going to stand there and be cryptic, or will you just tell me what the fuck you're going on about?" Derek replies, leaning against the table and crossing his arms, expression set to indifference but Scott can totally hear his heart pitter pattering in his chest. Scott does a full body sigh, throwing his arms down and looks at Derek exasperated.

"Ok, I know Stiles likes you, we both know that, and we both know you like him to, and don't even," Scott says as Derek attempts to interrupt him, "try to lie to me. So we need to get a game plan on how to get him to actually get over himself, and talk to you. And you're going to be ok with that right?" Scott asks, glaring at Derek. Derek looks at him before sighing and nodding his head. Scott beams a smile and says, "Alright, here is what we are going to do!"

~D~S~D~S~

"Seriously Scott, tell me where we are going!" Stiles asks for the dozenth time.

"It's a surprise and don't touch the blind fold! You will ruin the surprise!" Scott replies from the driver's seat of Stiles jeep.

"I just wish you wouldn't have dragged me out of bed for this! What is this even? Are you kidnapping me? Where could we possibly go at midnight on a week day!?" Stiles vents as he pouts in the passenger's seat.

"Oh calm down, we are here anyway." Scott says as he pulls the car over. Stiles feels the jeep pull to a stop and hears Scott get out but there is nothing for a few minutes and Stiles starts feeling around for the car handle. He opens the door and then Scott is there, helping him out and pushing him forward, his hands on his shoulders.

"For real Scott, where are we?" Stiles says with a little giggle, this whole thing seeming foolish.

"You've got a few steps, there you go." Scott says, ignoring what Stiles says. Suddenly they stop and Scott's hands leave Stiles shoulders, but before he could say anything a larger and warmer pair of hands settles on his waist causing him to freeze, taking a breath. That's when he smells the distinct smell of Derek and Stiles feels his heart start to go faster, his breathing picked up and he can't move. He feels stuck, stationary in a way that kicks his heart beating faster, that is until Derek moves his hands down to Stiles hips and moves him so his back is pressed up against solid muscle.

"Shhh Stiles, its fine, your fine. Nothing is going to happen to you. I swear it." Derek coos into Stiles ear and he feels himself begin to calm down, his breathing becoming steadier as the impending panic attack lessens into just over wrought nerves. Derek hears his heart beat start a steady, yet still fast, rhythm and starts to push Stiles into the house. Stiles starts to ramble, not even actually knowing what he is saying before Derek interrupts him.

"I'm going to take the blind fold off now, ok?" Derek asks and Stiles snorts.

"Are you going to kill me? Because I am very offended you got my best friend involved in this scam to… murder… me?" Stiles trails off as the make shift blindfold is removed and he can't really believe what he is seeing. He rubs his eyes a bit before opening them and his jaw slackens as his eyes go wide in shock.

The only lighting are candles (safety candles, no fire risk), scattered throughout the living room and dining room. There are roses on the side of the long table, how poetic, and predictably spaghetti laid out on two plates set up along with them. The roses are beautiful, orange with red tips and have to be at least a dozen or so set in a beautiful blue vase. Stiles looks over to see there is an amazing looking desert of some kind on the kitchen counter but is being pushed over towards the table before he can really say anything. Derek pulls out his chair and Stiles stares at it dumbly before looking up at Derek.

He can see the deep blush starting to bloom over Derek's face, and the uncertainty warring with his eyes as his soft smile begins to waver, the longer Stiles just stands there so he sits and lets Derek scoot him in. Derek rushes over to the kitchen and brings two wine glasses filled with a deep and rich red colored liquid, sees Stiles eyeing it and mumbles "non-alcoholic" and then chuckles at Stiles comical pout.

They eat in mostly silence, but a comfortable one. Every time Stiles tries to ask what is going on Derek will shoot him his "I'll explain later" eyebrows and continues eating. When finished Derek picks up each plate and brings back an amazing looking desert that Stiles isn't even sure he knows the name of.

"You made this? All of this?" Stiles asks and Derek nods, the tips of his ears turning pink. Stiles chuckles and takes a bite, almost moaning at how rich and chocolate the dessert tastes. They share the dessert and when finished Derek leads them to the couch, where there are rose petals spread on the end table all around a beautiful red box. Stiles stares at the box, it is small, fit in the palm of your hand small, and suddenly Stiles is shaking as he looks up at Derek.

"What.. What is..?" Stiles stutters and looks back down, Derek sits down and tugs on Stiles arm so he sits to. Stiles is like a nervous ball of energy, one knee tucked under him as the other leg bounces quickly against the floor. He is staring at his hands and when he looks up Derek is holding the box in his hand.

"I know… in the beginning.. You and me.. We didn't get along well." Derek starts, pausing often like he is trying to find the right words to say. "I was.. I wasn't in a good place, in my life, as you know. And you were just… God Stiles you were always there. Just being you, annoying and aggravating and fiercely loyal…. To Scott.. And your father and then…" Derek looks up at Stiles, their eyes clashing. "To me… you were like… a puppy." Stiles snorts at this, trying to cover the tears in his eyes when Derek finally looks back down at the box. "So small and fragile and just pathetically hopeful. You would never give up and just.." Derek stops, handing Stiles the box.

"It was my mothers.. This is.. The only thing besides the house that I have left of any of them." Stiles stares at the box, the silence stretching before he takes a deep breath and he opens it. Inside is a necklace, a wide chain holding the same design as the tattoo on Derek's back. Stiles looks up at him, confusion etched in his face and Derek takes the box away, grabbing his hands.

"The Triskelion is a family thing, we all had different meanings behind it but… look there are many reasons, why we shouldn't do this, why I shouldn't encourage this." He pauses looking down at their hands joined together, Stiles squeezes them. "And don't get me wrong I've tried to fight this, really I have but… if you want it, I'm giving it to you. As a promise. I'll always be there. As an rival.." Stiles snorts a wet sound again and Derek looks up at him, seeing the tears sliding down his face. "A friend…" at this Stiles leans in and Derek takes one of his hands and places it on his face, brushing a tear away from his cheek. "or more." and Derek leans the final small distance to ghost is lips against Stiles' giving him the chance to pull away. Instead Stiles applies more pressure, keeping the kiss sweet and gentle, but smiling into it before he leans away, pressing their foreheads together.

"You haven't said anything yet." Derek states about five minutes later, the longest Stiles has ever stayed silent in possibly his whole life. Derek thinks he should be enjoying it while it lasts but its making him jittery and antsy, like he is the one with ADHD instead of Stiles. Stiles opens his eyes and leans back, removing his hands from Derek's and Derek thinks that's it. That he and Scott misread everything, this is Stiles walking away, forever, and there isn't any thing anyone can do about it. But Stiles doesn't move any further, just wipes his eyes with the back of his hands, and leans over to grab the box. Silently he pulls the necklace out of the place holder and slides it over his head, resting it on his chest. Derek stares at where it is placed, so close to his neck and heart.

'vulnerable.' Derek thinks before Stiles is pulling his face up and their lips meeting. It is gentle and passionate and everything Derek wanted it to be and Stiles hoped could be. When they finally break apart, Stiles throws himself on Derek to hug him, holding him tight like he is just going to disappear or float away. Derek does the same.

"I'd like that." Stiles finally mutters into Derek's neck.

"Which part?" Derek replies, content with never moving.

"All of it. Everything… this was.." Stiles says but stops as his voice chokes up a bit.

"Stiles… are you crying again?" Derek says with a smirk in his voice and Stiles slaps his back, pulling away from him, only to have Derek flip him around until he is lying in between his legs, back to chest. He wiggles to get comfortable and then smiles, drying his eyes again. After a moments of silence Stiles speaks again.

"I wasn't expecting this… any of this." He mumbles, squeezing the arms that are around him.

"mhm…" Derek replies, pulling Stiles in closer.

"So… is this like.. are we dating now?" Stiles asks and Derek huffs out a laugh, before turning Stiles head to kiss him.

**Alright, sorry this took so long, the final chapter i smut, so you can leave it at this sweet cute ending if you don't like that. Thank you and I'd love to hear what you think….**


End file.
